Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize