Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
