So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize
