I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
