im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
