Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
