Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Do vagina's smell?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
