Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
