he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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