Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i think i scared a bird with my dick
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Maybe he injected his testicle?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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