Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
