Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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