is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
