The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
