Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
