Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Terrible idea I love it
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
