Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
