TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
