You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize