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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses

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• (845): View more from New York

  i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.

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• (530): View more from California

  He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.

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