is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
