i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
