i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
