So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
