Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
