I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
