Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
