Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
