I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
