I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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