Nicole vs. Life
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
