Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize