I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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