My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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