she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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