fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
