I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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