I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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