OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
