HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
