brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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