and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
