my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
