It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Randomize
