But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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