Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
