Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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