yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
it glows. i had to have it.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
