I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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