worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Randomize