i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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