Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize