Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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