Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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