your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
