Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
