This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
