i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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